Narutards
by Shikamaru98
Summary: Caution!: This story may cause insanity! Read at your own risk! We are not responsible for anyone or everyone bashing heir heads off walls during andor after reading this story.


_Narutards Chapter 1:_

_Insanity of Ninja!_

Kakashi - _Once upon a time there was a group of powerful ninjas, their speed and strength was unsurpassable by any mortal man or woman. This story … ……… IS NOT ABOUT THEM AT ALL!!!!_

_This story is about another group of ninjas, who were so stupid and pathetic, they were even afraid of their own shadows._

Naruto -_ Hey! What the hell are you talking about?! I'm not afraid of my own shadow! ……… just everyone else's._

_mumbles Especially Shikamaru's. It's just down right creepy._

Sasuke - _Now when you say "stupid and pathetic," please tell me that I'm not included in that._

Chimera -_ What are you talking about Sasuke, of course you are!_

Sasuke -_ Aww Shit!!!! hangs head in shame_

Kristina –_ Ya, remember the time you were trying to get the last cookie out of the cookie jar and –_

Sasuke –_ Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up okay!_

FLASH BACK

* * *

Sasuke –_ I want a cookie._

_(Sasuke walks over to the cookie jar to find only one cookie left)_

Sasuke –_ Hey! Awesome, I get the last cookie! evil laugh_

Chimera –_ Sasuke what are you doing?_

Sasuke –_ Gives a blank look Uhh…… nothing._

Chimera –_ Ok! Skips away singing a loud, obnoxious song_

_(Sasuke goes to pull his hand out of the cookie jar, only to find out that its stuck. He begins to flail around, trying to remove the cookie jar from his hand. Kristina comes in, humming a weird obnoxious song)_

Kristina –_ Stops humming and looks at Sasuke like he's crazy_

_Sasuke, what are you doing?_

Sasuke –_ Huh? Stops flailing and holds up the hand with the jar on it ……Help?_

_(Kristina bursts out laughing, then falls over from laughing too hard. Then Chimera comes skipping in) _

Chimera –_ Kristina, what the heck are you laughing at?_

_(Kristina continues to laugh but points at Sasuke. Chimera looks over to see Sasuke (who went back to flailing around by the way) trying to remove the cookie jar from his hand. Chimera tries not to laugh but fails miserably and ends up joining Kristina as they continue their laughing fit together)_

10 MINUTES LATER………

_(Chimera and Kristina finally stop laughing)_

Sasuke –_ Hey are you guys going to help me?_

Kristina –_ Yeah, yeah, we're getting there._

Chimera –_ Alright, now Sasuke you need to let go of the cookie – _

Sasuke –_ WHAT?!...ARE YOU NUTS? NO WAY, IT'S MY COOKIE! ALL MINE!_

Chimera –_ Yes Sasuke, we know it's your cookie, but you need to let go so –_

Sasuke –_ NO!_

_(Chimera starts to get angry because Sasuke keeps cutting her off)_

Chimera –_ WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH?!_

Sasuke –_ tiny voice Yes ma'am._

Chimera –_ Thank you! Now… where was I?_

Kristina –_ Umm…… you have to let go of the cookie?_

_(Sasuke takes a deep breath and prepares to yell again)_

Chimera –_ DO NOT!!!!_

_(Sasuke lets out the breath and remains silent)_

Chimera –_ Anymoo, if you let go of the cookie, glare I'll show you a way to get it out without getting your hand stuck._

Kristina –_ You mean there's actually a way to do that?_

Chimera –_ Yes. There is._

_(Sasuke lets go of the cookie and pulls his hand out)_

Sasuke –_ So now show me how to get my cookie!!_

Chimera –_ Ok! Take a chill pill!_

Kristina –_ Yeah Sasuke. Jebus, you act like a child. Chill out._

Sasuke –_ I DO NOT ACT LIKE A CHILD!... I'M TELLING!_

_(Both Chimera and Kristina look at him)_

Sasuke –_ ……I just proved your point …didn't I?_

_(Nods from both)_

Sasuke –_ ……Well…… I…… meant to do that……_

_(Kristina gives Sasuke a "yeah sure" look)_

Chimera –_ Sure you did. Now …… back to your cookie problem. Why don't you just turn the cookie jar upside down?_

Sasuke –_ turns the cookie jar upside down Like this?_

_(Cookie falls out of the jar and on to the ground.)_

Sasuke –_ OH NOES! LOOK WHAT YOU GUYS DID!!!_

Chimera –_ What we did?! You're the one didn't catch the cookie!_

Kristina –_ Yeah! It's not our fault! It's yours!_

Sasuke –_ But you didn't say I had to catch it!_

Kristina –_ Well who else was gonna do it?! Kon?!_

_(Kon walks by but runs when he hears his name)_

Sasuke –_ But you didn't tell me to catch it! How was I supposed to know it was gonna hit the ground?!_

Chimera –_ Tis called gravity genius…_

Kristina –_ Duh!..._

_(All three stand there, silently looking at the cookie on the ground.)_

Kristina -_ ……Well… What now?..._

_(Chimera picks up the cookie and puts it back in the jar)_

Chimera –_ We can let someone else eat it while we go get ice cream!_

_(Sasuke cheers but Kristina remains silent)_

Chimera –_ Something wrong?_

Kristina –_ Yeah …… Ice cream hasn't been invented yet…_

FLASH BACK ENDS

_

* * *

_

Sasuke –_ LIES! ALL OF IT! BULL SHIT!!!!_

_(Kakashi, Naruto, Kristina, Sakura and Chimera all laughing to hard to object to his objections)_

Kakashi –_ And I always thought Sasuke was the smart one! Boy, was I wrong! He has the intelligence of Naruto!_

_(Sasuke looks like he's just been slapped in the face)_

Naruto –_ Hey Sasuke! That means you must be brilliant! WOW!_

_(Tumble weed rolls by)_

Naruto –_ What we talking about again?_

_(Sasuke falls over and twitches)_

Sasuke –_ Why me? Why all the time me?

* * *

_

I hope you guys liked it and got a good laugh

if you could please review, that would be great

thanx,

the next chapter should be up soon. 


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